Today, “Fat Chick” has invited her prissy cousin from the south, Miss Hen-rietta Peppercorn, to stay for an extended visit. From time to time you’ll be able to listen in on the interesting conversations that take place between these two poultry kinfolk who are as different as night and day.
The first thing you’ll notice is that while “Fat Chick” is a rather hefty and outspoken bird, Miss Hen-rietta is a bit on the prissy side. Her family came from rather good stock and had a well-to-do coop down south. After all, they put the “finger lickin” in the Colonel’s Kentucky Fried franchise! When you read the dialogue remember, this is a hen with a deep southern drawl and she swoons at the drop of a feather.
Let’s listen in on the first part of this family reunion…
FC: Welcome to Missouri, Hen-rietta! It’s great to see you again. I don’t think I’ve seen you since we were both little chicks!
HEN: It’s so nice to see ya’ll! I agree, I don’t think you were nearly this BIG when I saw you last! Why, I never woulda recognized ya’ll!
FC: Well, thanks a whole heap! Haven’t seen you for years and the first thing you do is start making cracks about my figure. At least I don’t have a long skinny neck and my beak stuck up in the air!
HEN: Well REALLY! You do take offense easy, now, don’t you? I only meant to say that you’d filled out considerable since I saw you last. I’m sure they like their chickens fat and sassy up here in the north!
FC: Oh brother, is this the way it’s going to be for your whole visit? How long is your vacation anyhow?
HEN: Vacation? Oh, honey, my family sent me up here to stay with you permanent! Ya see, they think you could use a little refinement. You know, make a lady outta you. After all, I’ve been to finishing school!
FC: Finishing school? What the heck’s a finishing school?
HEN: That’s where they teach you the finer things like manners and deportment. How to look and act like a lady and keep your feathers smooth and fine. You could use a little help in that department, don’t you think? After all, I’ve been reading your little ole blog and that woman you talk to here in your office is no help at all. She’s what we call a real bad influence!
FC: Good grief! Are you gonna talk in that southern accent all the time? Can’t you cluck like a normal chicken?
HEN: Honey, I’m no normal chicken! I’m bona-fried! 🙂
Stay tuned for more “Adventures of Fat Chick!”