The View From My Window

The world as seen from my window and through my eyes

The hen party April 22, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — auntlelo @ 7:54 am

Fat Chick: “Do you think she’ll look any older?”

Henrietta: “Don’t be silly Fat Chick. She won’t look any different than she did yesterday.”

Gregory: “Wow, that’s a shame. I was hoping for some improvement!”

Henrietta: “Really, Mr. Pecked, that’s entirely too rude of you considering the woman at the desk paid to bring you here to meet Fat Chick.”

Gregory: “Sorry. Sometimes those things just slip out. Besides, Fat Chick told me the woman at the desk likes people who speak their minds. She appreciates honesty. She likes to know where she stands!”

Fat Chick: “Gregory, dearest, that’s all true. However, the exception would be when you comment about a woman’s appearance. My best advice to you in that instance would be…”

Henrietta: “LIE!”

Gregory: “Wow, okay! I get the message. So, then, I guess I ought to rethink this little gift I bought her for her birthday.”

Fat Chick: “What is it? Is it chocolate?”

Henrietta: “Flowers? A book?”

Gregory: “Actually, no. I thought you said she was a more practical kind of gal and I took you seriously.”

Henrietta: “Oh no, what did you do?”

Gregory: “Well, I bought her the entire product line of that Oil of Olay Anti Aging stuff. I thought she looked like she could use it.”

Fat Chick: “Oh no, you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t!”

Henrietta: “You better hide that package quick, Mr. Pecked or you’re liable to be fricassee for lunch! I would have thought that a fellow from Hollywood would have known better!”

Gregory: “In Hollywood, we don’t usually see women who look like that. The women out there have usually already done the necessary nipping and tucking and botoxing and such. Out here, people just let themselves get gray hair and wrinkles. It’s unnerving!”

Fat Chick: “Well, I forgive you. I completely understand that you were trying to do the right thing and just didn’t know her well enough to know that you shouldn’t have been quite that blunt. What do you think we should do instead?”

Henrietta: “I got her something very personal. Do you like it? It’s personalized stationary with my picture on it. I think it’s lovely!”

Fat Chick: “Gee Henrietta. I don’t quite know what to say about that. I wonder who she’ll be sending those notes to?”

Henrietta: “Well, everyone I would think. Don’t you think it’s cute?”

Fat Chick: “Why didn’t anyone think of just giving her chocolate? It’s the universal gift of good taste, after all. That’s what I got her, chocolate.”

Henrietta: “As if we all don’t know you have an ulterior motive. Remember what happened the last time someone gave her chocolate?”

Fat Chick: “No, I can’t say that I do.”

Henrietta: “I’m surprised, Fat Chick. I would have thought you would have remembered devouring 3/4’s of the box, gaining 5 pounds and complaining of a tummy ache for the next two days.”

Gregory: “Now ladies, how about we all start this birthday party over and just sing happy birthday and wish her many more?”

Fat Chick, Henrietta and Gregory Pecked: “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear woman at the desk, happy birthday to you!”


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