Feed a cold, starve a fever. Or, was it starve a cold, feed a fever? Doesn’t matter. There’s not enough oxygen getting to my brain today for that answer to be clear. However, I have found that the perfect medication for my particular problem is a hefty dose of nasal spray followed by two Jolly Ranchers (green apple and watermelon) and a Hershey’s chocolate miniature (dark chocolate is best). Use nasal spray once every 10-12 hours, but, apply the candy liberally until you no longer care that you can’t breathe. 🙂
11:30 p.m. and miserable June 25, 2008
It’s late. I’ve taken NyQuil. Watched a movie (Grease) and still can’t sleep. I feel awful and I can’t breathe. My head feels like it’s concrete and my throat is a mess. Summertime colds are, by far, the worst kind.
It was bound to happen. Whenever I need to sing for a wedding or a funeral my body rebels. As if singing for funerals isn’t stressful enough, I have to challenge myself to do it with a stuffy nose and a sore throat. Not to mention my ears are a bit stuffy, too, so I’ll probably be flat.
What else does one do when it’s past the point that normal people who work for a living should be up? There’s nothing good on TV. I have nearly 400 channels and I still can’t find anything interesting to watch. Sad, isn’t it?
Likely none of this will make sense when you read it. Blame it on the fact that I’m probably oxygen deprived because I can’t breathe through all this congestion. Not being completely lucid is another byproduct of a summer cold.
Here’s hoping that by tomorrow morning the worst will have passed and I’ll be back to my normal, somewhat witty and always corny self. I think I’ll try going to bed again…good night!
Falling off the wagon and finding a soft landing June 20, 2008
The truth is, that lovely and healthy new lifestyle I embraced earlier in the year has taken a beating in the past couple of months. I mentioned earlier that I’d fallen off the wagon. I’ve eaten fast food, pizza, lots of BBQ and all sorts of desserts that I know are the kiss of death. (Although I wasn’t nearly as bad as my friend Jason who nearly launched himself into a chocolate coma with “Gotta Have It” size ice cream concoction at Cold Stone Creamery a couple of weeks ago.)
Yesterday I had to face the music and I got back on the scales. I closed my eyes, got my courage up and…
You’ve got to be kidding…I’d better try that again.
I closed my eyes, got my courage up and…
What’s wrong with this bathroom scale? We just bought the stupid thing. THIS CAN’T BE RIGHT?
After all the sinning and cheating and unhealthy food, I find that I weigh less now than I did when I was being really, really good. I have to have the strangest metabolism known to mankind. I don’t know why this is the case, but, if that’s the news, I’ll take it!
I had to celebrate. It was absolutely necessary. Pizza from Arris’ for dinner. Mmmmm, yummy! 🙂
Another humorous quote from a meeting this week… June 19, 2008
“I couldn’t keep my cow on the road. I kept over correcting.”
Challenge: Can you guess what was being discussed in this meeting?
Stone of Sisyphus June 17, 2008
At long last, after many years of waiting and rumors, one of my favorite bands finally released the album Stone of Sisyphus. I’m listening to the tracks on Rhapsody as I write. I expect I’ll listen to the album several times today to get my Chicago “fix.”
For a middle-aged woman who used to listen to this band in high school, it’s a rare treat to enjoy the nostalgic feel of a new release that feels like an old friend. Glad all the legal wrangling is over and we can all enjoy a compilation of some of Chicago’s edgier music.
Last daughter given away… June 15, 2008
June 14 at 5 p.m., another daughter walked down the aisle with her dad. She was wearing a beautiful gown, pearls from her father and a happy smile on her face. After dealing with rain and thunderstorms all week, the day of the wedding was clear, sunny and beautiful.
This is the one and only photo I managed to grab during the entire day. Although I put my camera in my bag, I was busy upon my arrival at the church doing little odds and ends to try and be helpful. Mainly, I was the person in charge of safety pins and holding our grandson Seth. We got to be very good buddies over the past two days and in years to come I’ll remind him that he spent a very important moment in his parents’ life sitting with Grammy and spitting.
Yes, spitting. I carried Seth as I walked down the aisle to be seated. Normally a very calm and quiet little guy, he decided to be heard during the ceremony. Not only heard, but, the life of the party. He smiled, he laughed and when the minister asked “Do you take this woman?”, little Seth blew raspberries. It was a Kodak moment, to be sure.
The flower girls managed to make it down the aisle without incident and we all heaved a sigh of relief. Hallelujah! However, a memorable moment from this ceremony was what happened at the altar. While the bride and groom were busy saying their “I do’s”, Aidan and Jill managed to busy themselves finding a basket of chocolate candy stowed behind the pulpit. Rings were exchanged as Aidan stuffed Reese’s peanut butter cups in her mouth. Another memory that will get funnier as the years go by.
Three children married in less than 18 months. Wow! Hard to believe, isn’t it? Now we’re down to two boys. The girls have all been married off and the fatherly duties of walking them down the aisle, giving them away and dancing father-daughter dances has been completed. It was a good day and we wish Heather and Kreg all the best as they start their lives together.
Humorous things heard in meetings recently June 12, 2008
Every once in awhile as I sit in meetings, a random common catches my attention and I have to write it down. It has absolutely nothing to do with work or the purpose of the meeting, mind you, it’s just one of those strange little parts of a conversation that just stick in your head. Like a jingle from a commercial you just can’t get rid of. A couple of recent statements were worth sharing with you:
- “People who have rats should not criticize people who have hamsters.”
- “I had to play the trombone because my lips were too thin to play the trumpet.”
This begs the question: What interesting things have you heard in meetings recently? I challenge anyone to beat my rats and hamsters quote!
Random musings about weddings June 11, 2008
With our daughter Heather’s wedding coming up on Saturday, it seemed an appropriate time to share some of my random thoughts about weddings. I’m quite familiar with weddings and have been to more than my share of them. I play the piano and have been responsible for providing the music for a large portion of the “marrying and burying” of family and church members in my time.
- Have you realized that weddings have gone from being a small private ceremony held at home or the preacher’s house to a full blown orchestrated extravaganza that requires planners, organizers and a major bank loan?
- Most designer wedding gowns have more beads and sequins than the evening gown competition for the Miss America pageant!
- The cost of the tuxedo rentals alone could probably save an average person’s home from mortgage foreclosure.
- Receptions have grown from a simple cake and punch affair in the church basement to a full-blown catered meal complete with wine, champagne and an open bar.
- We barely saw printed invitations 30 years ago. Now we have wedding “programs” because the ceremonies are more like a musical revue.
- I think it’s a conspiracy in the clothing design world to make the mother of the bride look as frumpy as possible. It’s obvious when viewing the clothing for sale in the category of mother of the bride.
- One of the most unfortunate decisions most women make in their lives is their choice of a bridesmaids dress. They are perhaps some of the most disastrous clothing items most women will ever wear. I’ve seen maternity clothes with more style!
- We used to choose colors for our weddings with names like red, blue, green, pink. Now we choose from names like apple, cabernet, persimmon, olivine, plum—are we wearing them or eating them, I ask you?
- In the old days when people got married they received gifts. Now, the trend is to give gifts. Gifts are given to the bridal party, the parents, the grandparents, the officiants, anyone who moves…you get the picture. I think it’s a trend that started when the couple getting married had to make nicey nice with people who were asked to lay out massive amounts of money so they could have the wedding of their dreams. Average price for a bridesmaids dress and shoes: $250. Ouch!
- Brides used to wear a nice street dress or suit to get married in. Something they could wear again for special occasions making it a practical purchase. Only the very wealthy purchased single use wedding gowns. Now, paying over a thousand dollars for a gown worn one time is the norm.
- You know what’s really sad? When the planning process for the wedding lasts longer than the marriage.
- It’s obvious that weddings have gotten out of hand when we can devote entire television programs to them such as Bridezilla, A Wedding Story, Wedding Design on a Dime, etc.
- Do you realize how many people would be out of work if we went back to weddings as they used to be? Entire industries would be effected. Wow, that just can’t happen. We better make sure they keep getting bigger so we can help the economy, right? 🙂
- Is it any wonder now that some parents are encouraging their kids to elope? It’s all about financial survival!
Random musings about BBQ June 8, 2008
This is the time of year that BBQ’s seem to be on our schedule to the tune of a couple every weekend. Whether we’re going somewhere and having a communal grill-fest with friends or simply cooking at home for ourselves, the BBQ grill seems to be the center of our existence by June.
This weekend we attended a great summer picnic at Cosmos park with my work family and attended a first birthday party bash for a young man named Peyton. I don’t think we left either event hungry! So, in honor of the BBQ season, here are some random thoughts to keep you busy (and drooling):
- I can never decide what I like best from the grill. I like steak, chicken and pork equally well. My favorites of each are probably bacon wrapped filet mignon, BBQ chicken and thick-cut pork loin chops with bronzed seasoning. Mmmmm…
- I’m pretty picky about both my potato salad and my cole slaw. I rarely ever order either when going out unless it’s the horseradish coleslaw at Buckingham’s. I usually only eat potato salad at home. I’m a potato salad snob!
- Love veggies on the grill. There’s something that makes them taste better when they’re cooked on an open flame. If I didn’t love meat so much, veggies on the grill would make me think about being a vegetarian! NOT! 🙂
- I’ve found that people are extremely opinionated about their preference in BBQ sauce. I like mine with the molasses base and don’t care much for the vinegar based ones. Our favorite these days is any flavor of Sweet Baby Ray’s. I liked it even better today because I had a coupon for $1.00 off! HOORAH!
- Even the pickiest of eaters seem to find something they like when it’s cooked on the grill. Even people who despise hot dogs will often try one when it’s cooked outdoors. Everyone, that is, except our daughter Annie. She won’t touch them no matter how they’re prepared.
- Memphis or Texas? Kansas City or some other BBQ mecca? What’s your preference? I even read this week that they have a massive competition in New York City to bring in national BBQ champs so that the urbanites can experience what we all eat regularly in the BBQ capitals of the country. Must be a shame to live somewhere that you can’t use a BBQ grill!
- Charcoal or gas grill? Mesquite or hickory? The choices and combinations are endless. Therefore, we must continue to explore and conquer at every opportunity. Tonight, chicken. Tomorrow night a new recipe: kebabs with sea scallops and hot Italian sausages. That one may get another blog entry just to tell you how it went!
Random thoughts about SPAM June 4, 2008
No, despite the photo, this isn’t a post about the original SPAM. You remember SPAM? That strange and unidentifiable meat product in a tin that so captivated and inspired my grandparents’ generation that it has now become its own iconic part of pop culture? This is dedicated instead to the strange and somewhat disturbing emails I receive in my inbox everyday.
- Have you ever wondered just who the living, breathing body is behind some of those bizarre emails? Who spends their life at a keyboard creating emails about Viagra and updating your personal information on eBay or please help me, I need to transfer a million dollars into a US bank account?
- I wonder how many people actually fall for these emails everyday? After all this time, you’d think people would get wise to anything that asks for personal information.
- Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if all the people who spend massive amounts of time and money creating or filtering all this SPAM could instead be free to spend their time doing something more positive? For instance, mowing their lawns?
- Do you know what SPAM stands for? I found two definitions on a Web site that say: [not an acronym] written spam — slang name for Unsolicited Commercial Email (UCE; junk/bulk email); Superfluous Pieces of Additional Mail
- How many “superfluous pieces of additional mail” do you get in your inbox every day? Does it make you angry enough that you feel compelled to write an email to someone complaining about it? Is that complaint email then considered more SPAM?
- I always wondered why people got so mad about SPAM. I just delete it. I never notice those same people getting that angry over the “superfluous pieces of additional mail” they receive in their regular mailbox. They just glance at it and toss it in the trash. Simple. Kill trees AND contribute to your local landfill. You’d think that would make people more angry, wouldn’t you?
- Ever try to figure out how much money in our economy is tied up in SPAM? I wish I had all that money right now. I’d spend it on things like paying off my house, a cool Australian vacation, new shoes that make my feet look daintier, putting red streaks in my hair to cover up the silver, buying stamps (to mail more cards, not SPAM)…
- Wow, this rambling post made me hungry. Anybody have a can of SPAM they can spare? Did you know there is an official SPAM Web site, a Monty Python musical called SPAMALOT, and a SPAMMOBILE? No kidding!